I like to try to operate in an orderly fashion, both in my personal and professional lives. I try to keep systems in place and follow those systems as best as I can. To me, Monday is a day when something new starts, not a day when one finishes something, but this year has been far from orderly. As a friend said to me today, finishing treatment on a Monday is just another reminder that I am not in complete control. She is right. I am not in complete control, and I have learned to deal with that this year more than ever.
Monday does not just mark the end of treatment, though. Monday marks the start of life after cancer. When I walk out of the cancer center on Monday afternoon, I will be starting fresh and new. I will slowly start to remove my finger from the pause button and will start to figure out how to move on. That will be a process. Treating caner has been my mission since February 5, and that mission will be accomplished on October 5. Cancer will always be a part of my life. I have been changed to my very core. It's time to move cancer from center stage, to figure out how I am going to apply this to something good (working on a few things there), and to establish my new normal.
I'm excited.
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