I saw my therapist today, and we talked about meditation as a way to help me learn to be present and to also help me to relax my mind and body. I have a big problem keeping my mind present, and the present is all that we really have. When I think about something that happened in the past, I am using my present to think about the past. When I think about something that could or could not happen in the future, I am using my present to think about the future. I feel like I do a good job of being present when I am with Henry, but I have a hard time being present when I am alone with my thoughts.
I've always been a bit of a day dreamer and a what if(er) (in good ways and bad), and that is ok, but being more of a right now(er) will help me a lot right now (see what I did there). My therapist chuckled at me when I said "I need something that I can schedule to help me get through this transition time and to use as a tool for the future." So I am going to schedule time to be present to help me with the future through some basic meditation. I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of conflicting things going on right there, but I am going with it.
I've got some short guided meditation YouTube videos that I am going to try starting tonight. I feel like my time doing that will serve me better than watching mindless TV or surfing the internet. Bring on the present.
(And kudos to anyone who understood any part of this post)
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