Day 12- It's Cocktail Time

For a good time, mix the following:

• 4 parts chalk
• 2 parts artificial berry flavor with some kind of sweetner
• 2 parts white coloring
• 1 part thickener
• 3 parts laxative

Shake vigorously, chill, divide into two servings, drink one 2 hours before appointment, drink the second 1 hour before appointment, try not to vomit and/or gag.

That is what I had for breakfast this morning.  Two servings of barium "berry" smoothie in advance of my CT scan.  They say that it is best served cold and consumed via straw.  They lie.  There is no best way to drink that stuff. 

The CT scan was easy enough and mercifully brief.  I guess they keep the procedure short as compensation for making patients drink that vile liquid.  I should have the results "soon."  I am back to jumping through my skin every time I see an unknown number pop up on my phone. I pray for a clear CT scan.

I also spent some time learning more about chemo cold caps (a friend mentioned them to me a week or so ago, and my oncologist brought them up to me last week as well).  Cold caps therapy can be used during chemo as a way to potentially reduce hair loss.  I would basically wear a series of freezing cold (-52 degrees) hats before, during, and for a time period after each of my 8 chemotherapy sessions.  There is no guarantee that I won't still experience complete hair loss, but these chemo caps have an 80% success rate.  The representative that I talked to today said that all clients still lose some hair (20-25%), but I've got some hair to spare I suppose.

I am going to give this some serious thought and talk to Mike about it. Keeping my hair would not only help me to retain some of my physical identity, but I think that it would also make this whole process much less scary for Henry.  Maybe mom won't look so drastically different. 

There are some drawbacks - expense, effort, extra time spent, having a freezing cold things attached to my head for up to 6 hours every two weeks, making someone change the cap every 28 minutes during each treatment, etc.  

Again, something to think about over the next few days.  Here's an article about a Charleston resident who had success with cold caps.

My mom left around 1pm today, and I missed her the second that she drove away.  I am so glad that she was here over the past few days.  Not only was it comforting, but she and I had some time to spend together that we don't normally have.  We talked a lot, laughed a lot, and she was simply here for me (and always will be).  Henry also loved having his Nana here. 

Saw my surgeon today to discuss my port placement for Wednesday.  It was a brief appointment, and he answered some questions for me. 

On tap for tomorrow - lupron injection and a brain MRI.  Thank goodness, there are no "cocktails" on the agenda.