Sunday, February 8, 2015

Day 4 - Cancer Comes With Us



Cancer has taken away my ability to have a normal weekend day.  I feel a little bit robbed.  Henry and I went to Monkey Joes and Target, but cancer also went with us.  I think about it every other second, and talk about it every other minute.  I know that this is just going to be my normal for a while, but I don't want cancer to come with me when I am trying to spend time with my son.  I want it to be gone.

I had another headache today.  I think that it is from stress and lack of quality sleep. It was more of a dull foggy feeling than a piercing headache.  I am also 100% sure that I have been clenching my jaw nonstop for the past several days.

I am continuing to tell others my news, and the response has been overwhelming.  I have always known that I have a lot of people who love me (and us), but I never really knew the depth.  We have had so many people reaching out to us and offering their support and love.  I am on numerous prayer lists at churches all across the country.  That is so comforting to me.  I am going to continue to need the support over the next however long. 

At this point, I just want answers and next steps.  I want the where, the why, the how.  Also, why do I keep hearing stories of young women like me being diagnosed with breast cancer.  What is going on?  Is it our food, is it our environment, is it the products that we are using?  Why is this happening?

How am I going to talk to Henry about this?  What is he going to say if (when) I lose my hair?  I am sure that he will be somewhat fascinated, but I don't want him to be scared. 

I maintain my resolve to do whatever I have to do to combat this. WHATEVER.  I just want to be better.  Cancer is NOT invited to my weekends. 

I joined a survivors group on Facebook.  The group is private and is only for survivors.  Though I am newly diagnosed, the group admin said "You're already a survivor, Nancy."  I am.  I am already a survivor, and I will be cancer-free in no time.  This will be a minor speedbump on my path in life.

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