Monday, September 7, 2015

Day 215 - At Least

I recently read something that I found to be interesting and relevant (though not necessarily timely) - don't use the phrase "at least" when trying to be empathetic.  At least you didn't total your car.  At least you didn't break your arm too badly.  At least your cancer is only stage 2.  You get the point.  Using "at least" minimizes someone's problem immediately, and while things could always be worse, the person talking to you about his or her problems is likely pretty upset.

I have absolutely no doubt that I have used "at least" when talking to someone about problems, and I vow to never do so again.  A friend of mine runs a class on dealing with grief, and she recently said to me "it does not matter what the people in my class have experienced as they are all suffering at 100%."  Your 100% is likely different than mine, but it still feels like 100% to me.  That really resonated with me, and I think that it is something that will really shape my interactions with others in my life.  It does not matter if someone else's 100% would be 50% to me as I am not the one experiencing the hypothetical problem.

Nothing has happened recently to prompt this blog post, but I appreciated learning the above and thought that others may as well.

This weekend was really wonderful, and I am so glad that we were able to get out of town to see my brother and have a lot of fun.

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