I've got a lot of deep thoughts swirling around my head. I might even call them profound. Most of them relate to how I view myself and how I strive to treat myself in my upcoming post-treatment world. I've always been pretty hard on myself and have applied a lot of undue pressure. I've learned so much about me in the past 8 months that I can apply to all areas of my life, and I am excited to be able to do so.
One area that needs a lot focus is letting go of guilt as it relates to Henry. I have put so much pressure on myself to "cherish every moment" that I feel so guilty when I do not enjoy particular moments or when I get frustrated with him. There is just no way to enjoy a time when your 4-year old is losing his shit in the Trader Joe's parking lot because you only let him get one mini pumpkin instead of two. Any parent who tells you that those moments don't stress her out is lying. So I'm saying it. It is impossible to cherish every moment though I do cherish most of them. I need to stop letting minor(ish) frustrations make me feel guilty.
I took Henry to a birthday party this afternoon, and I loved seeing all of the other kids run up to him when we arrived. He's got a lot of friends in his class and is very social. He tells me about it, but I rarely get to see it in action so it was fun to see them all interact during the party. Those were moments to cherish.
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