Disclaimer - this post is not a fish for compliments nor is it meant to be self-deprecating.
As soon as I got Henry tucked into bed last night, our door bell rang. It was around 8:15, and I was already in my pajama pants and t-shirt because I got soaked during a post-school/work water balloon fight. I would normally not answer the door that late (it was starting to get dark) unless I was expecting someone, but I saw that the person standing on the other side was a 12 (ish)-year old kid holding a box of chocolate bars.
Bless his heart. He was probably not expecting to see a bald woman in floral pajama pants on the other side of the door. He stammered through his chocolate bar sales pitch, and I felt horrible because I had no cash to support his soccer team fundraiser (Seriously, never rob me. You would be so disappointed). I told him to please come back over the weekend, and I would buy a few bars, but I have a feeling that I won't be getting a return visit from him. He seemed pretty freaked out.
I say this because I often forget about what I currently look like. I've not been too bothered by my appearance, for the most part, and forget that it can be jarring to others at times. I was talking to my therapist at my last appointment and telling her how excited I am that my hair is starting to come back. I think that I said something along the lines of "you know, I had long thick hair...oh wait, you don't know that." She's one of few who has never seen me with hair and said that it often takes her some time to get used to patients' appearances when hair starts to come back. Kind of funny since I am sure that it has taken others some time to get used to me without hair.
I think that I made someone else uncomfortable recently too. I was at a restaurant waiting to meet some friends, and a woman near me kept complimenting the jewelry that I was wearing to the point that it made me uncomfortable. She wanted to talk to me, but I think that she did not quite know what to say to me so was over-doing it on the jewel comments. I finally said to her "well, when you don't have hair, you make up for it in other ways." Damn. I said it nicely, but my I think that my comment backfired there. She didn't quite know what to say after that. I felt kind of badly, but I would have rather her just asked what was going on if she wanted to talk to me vs. making small talk about my earrings and necklace.
The bottom line is that I am mostly comfortable with my current appearance though I am VERY excited for my hair to come back, but I hate that it makes others uncomfortable or act awkwardly sometimes. I am mainly sorry that it made the boy trying to sell chocolate bars uncomfortable. Hopefully he will come back so that I can, at least, support the soccer team.
Entirely unrelated, I picked Henry up from school yesterday, and a little girl in his class said "bye, Henry. I will miss." Then this morning, when I took Henry to school a different girl said "Henry! I missed you so much." Oh boy.
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