I thought that I would not be as anxious on the eve of my second chemo infusion, but I am pretty nervous about being back in the chair and about not feeling great for the rest of the week. I, obviously, have a better idea of what to expect tomorrow but also hear others saying that the side effects of each chemo treatment become increasingly worse as it builds in the system. I am not going to go into tomorrow thinking that I could feel worse than last time, but I know that it is a possibility.
I am excited to be able to say that I only have 6 more chemo treatments after tomorrow. That sounds even more manageable than my original 8, and soon I will be at the halfway mark. If all goes according to plan, April 7 will mark the halfway point in my chemo infusions. That is not far away at all.
I tried to make some big batches of food for Henry and Mike to have over the next couple of days, and we've got a very full freezer of other options as well. Last time, I hardly had an appetite and did zero cooking. I love to cook so it felt weird to me to not get into the kitchen and cook dinner after work. Temporary though. Only temporary.
I've got a list of questions to ask my oncologist tomorrow and the previously mentioned leave-behind list for him. I still feel unsure of what I can and cannot do during chemo. For example, can I go and get a massage? I've got two gift certificates staring me in the face, and now seems like a great time to use them. I also really need an eyebrow wax. Kind of funny to think about since I will probably lose my eyebrows at some point during chemo, but they need some upkeep in the meantime. Can I do that?
My list tomorrow is color-coded as well.
Green = a copy of the leave-behind questions for the doctor so that I don't forget what I have asked him to look into.
Pink = random questions from me such as massage and eyebrow wax. I'm also going to ask him if he'll reconsider the whole "you can't go to the gym for 6 days during every treatment cycle." Those are the days when I feel well!
Purple = to bring to chemo tomorrow. Must bring my bag of supplies so that I've got plenty to do during the drip.
I really like to have a variety of colors of pens. Keeps things fresh. I don't think that it really matters what color my handwriting is, though, because it is unlikely that anyone would really be able to read the notes that I write for myself. A friend of mine says that my cursive handwriting looks like a series of bubbles and waves vs. actual words.
One night, she was at my house, and we may or may not have had some cocktails (I'll never tell), and I started writing out words on a chalkboard that we have in our house to see if she could read them. She couldn't, and started to draw pictures for me of what my handwriting looks like. The only way that I can replicate the pictures that she drew on a keyboard is like this ~~~~~~~. I don't think that I've ever laughed so much in my life. That happened years ago, and I still think about it when I walk by the room with the chalkboard and smile to myself. It was SO funny. I'll randomly text her about it on occasion, and I hope that she is reading this and smiling.
I've always admired nice penmanship, and I think that it partially because mine is not so nice. I love fonts and design and am always impressed with those who have beautiful handwriting. So for all of you who have sent me notes over the years, I am paying attention.
Big night tonight - Season finale of The Bachelor. Every time Mike complains about watching it and I offer to change the channel, he says "ok ok fine. I'll watch." I think that he is secretly as entertained as I but won't admit it as readily. This ultra-mindless TV is the perfect thing to watch tonight when my nerves are a bit nervy.
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