I hate the cancer center. I hate it because it has to exist (don't get me wrong, though, I am glad that it is there to help me which I will cover below). I hate seeing other patients there, especially some who are quite elderly because I don't want them to need to be there. I always try to offer a smile or a word or two of encouragement to help brighten their time at the cancer center. They may like it or may just think that I am weird. Either is fine. I just don't like walking through the doors to that center, and I wish that no one had to do it.
The cancer center where I receive my treatments is a beautiful facility. It has two infusion rooms, a boutique that sells various products to help those in treatment, a cafe that apparently has great food and excellent hospital-style crushed ice, an outdoor terrace with lounge chairs and fountains, and many many doctors and nurses.
I hate that any cancer has to exist, mind you. I don't have have anything reason to hate mine more than others. I am just sorry that anyone has to walk through the doors of any cancer center. I am, however, grateful for the doctors, nurses and staff at the cancer center. They have dedicated their professional lives to helping people like me, and I am sure that cancer creeps into their personal lives on a daily basis, much like any job shows up during non-work hours. In fact, I called someone who works at the cancer center on her day off when I was first diagnosed. She graciously took my call and continues to be a very important part of my support team.
The people working at my cancer center are some of the nicest I have ever met. They have known me by name since my second appointment and are always available for a chat, some kind words or advice. I find that I have gotten much more chatty since my diagnosis...much more willing to slow down and listen to someone else or take the time to offer up my thoughts and feelings. It's been a nice change to not be so rushed and focused on "what's next." I am very lucky to have these people in my life, and I would like to find a way to be able to thank them for all that they do for me and their other patients. I've got something in mind to take to them for my last chemo treatment.
I was pretty barfy feeling all day today. I think that it is just going to happen for this type of chemo. I was able to eat a bit more today than I was after my first treatment so I think that the 3rd pill is helping some, but it is not providing the goal of "no nausea." My doctor said that they could reduce my chemo dosage if I keep getting bad nausea, but I don't want to do that since the chemo is working so well.
My hair is starting to jump ship. Just strand-by-strand right now, but I can't run my fingers through it without snagging a few hairs on the way. Clumps will start coming out any day now so I have a date for a buzz cut and champagne on Saturday. May as well toast to the hair that was. Henry is totally on board and thoroughly entertained by the fact that I will not have any hair.
Receiving my Neulasta shot was uneventful though it does make my face bright red, and I hope that the Claritin I am taking continues to ward off any associated bone pain. Barfiness and deep bone aches do not sound like a nice combination.
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