Day 55 - Ouch

As I've said on this blog (and it is a medical fact), chemo attacks fast-growing cells in the body.  It cannot tell the difference between cancer cells and normal healthy cells, which is why the side effects of chemo can be so harsh.  Apparently, chemo has decided to take a stab at the fast-growing cells in my throat because it HURTS.  It feels like I am swallowing razors.  My throat started getting sore a few days ago and really took on a life of its own last night.  I put in a call to my doctor's office yesterday morning, and they are trying to find a pharmacy to compound "magic mouthwash" for me but said that I won't be able to get it until Wednesday.  I'm going to try to fast-track that today (writing this before work at 8am) as soon as my doctor's office opens.  I can't have another sleepless night like I did last night.

Apparently "magic mouthwash" is a concoction that helps numb, heal and soothe throat and mouth sores caused by chemo.  Sounds fishy, but I'll try it if it really is magical.  I also started to feel some of the knee pain that I had last chemo cycle around 3:00 this morning.  A healthy dose of Motrin helped both the knee pain and the throat pain actually so I was able to catch a few winks. I had to really work hard to get up the nerve to take the Motrin, and I am glad that I did it.  Nothing like swallowing a handful of pills (ok it was only 3) with a really sore throat.

After nights like last, I really have to dig deep to remain positive and to be able to function like a semi-normal human.  I gave myself many pep talks during the day today "I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am ok, I am ok, I am ok."  This was me at certain points:

At other points today, I cried and felt sorry for myself.

Anyway, last night was another chapter in my current book entitled Nancy is a Hot Mess.  It's going to be a brief book when all is said and done, but man I wish that I could stop making entries into that one.  A friend who has her own cancer story recently said to me, "cancer is a total bitch."  It really is.

Mike was able to obtain the mythical "magic mouthwash" for me at around 2pm, and I took some right away.  It numbed my mouth and throat and provided almost instant relief.  These doctors and pharmacists really know what they are doing sometimes, huh?  I will happily add that to my arsenal of potions. It also contains Benadryl so that should help me sleep better tonight.  Bring it on.