I hosted a staff meeting in regard to my company's April event this afternoon, and officially made the announcement that I will not be there. I didn't cry (strict no crying at work rule), but it was hard to get the words out. I've been planning this particular annual event (The Wireless Infrastructure Show) since 2008, and it has been the biggest thing that I've ever done in my career. This year's event will be the best one yet. I just know it, and I am so sorry that I will not be able to see it in person. The exhibit hall is sold out for the first time ever, our registration numbers are pacing far ahead of previous years, and we've got some really exciting and new things planned for this year.
I will absolutely be there in spirit, but will not be there in person. It makes me sad, and it is hard for me to talk about. Of course, I've got way bigger fish to fry this year, and there will be more trade shows for me to plan and attend in the future. I just get such a thrill seeing all of our team's hard work come to fruition at an event. It's the most satisfying part of my job. I walk into a blank space at a hotel or convention center and see our show take shape right before my eyes. I love it, and I find that all of us meeting planners love that. We're a rare breed, you know.
Instead of being there, I'll probably just be annoying sitting at home. I'll be texting staff members for updates and trying to get as much of the scoop as possible while I am back at home. They're probably really looking forward to my stalking! I imagine that I will have my usual pre-event adrenaline surge and nerves from a distance. I become almost robotic at events...can survive on very little sleep and very little food. I just go and go until the end then I crash hard. That is part of the reason that it would not be wise for me to be at the show this year. I push my normally healthy self too hard so there is no way that my current self could handle that much stress, lack of sleep, and lack of nutrition. That does not even factor in the germ exposure from air travel and being around 2000 of my closest wireless industry colleagues.
It's ok though. We've got a fantastic team in place in which I have the utmost confidence. They make me so proud and are going to do such a wonderful job. And they also know that I will be a phone call away if I can provide guidance at any time. I won't get to see them shine this year either, but I know that they will tell me about all of the highs and lows of the conference (there won't be many, if any, lows though).
Most of this year is going to be focused on doing what I have to do to heal. I know that, and I am thankful to be able to have the support needed to have that focus. I think that this will also be a good lesson in letting go for me. I've got some controlling tendencies (surprised?), and it is better for me to back off on that a little bit.
Still not feeling so great today. The nausea has not backed down too much. I was able to get a decent amount of food down, but it does not taste so great, and I have to sometimes convince myself to do it. Hopefully things will start to look up tomorrow.
I am looking forward to the weekend, and, dare I say, even looking forward to my hair cut. I just need to get it over with at this point. My mom and Glen are coming into down for the day tomorrow, and we'll just have some time to relax and visit. Henry has also requested that he and I make banana chocolate chip muffins tomorrow morning. Can do, buddy! He loves to help in the kitchen, especially when baked goods are involved.
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