Day 98 - Break

It was so nice to have a small break from work today.  I kept half of an eye on email because I have issues, but there was nothing that came in that can't be handled tomorrow.  I slept until 9a, let my mom spoil me some, and caught up on some TV.  I went to the doctor at 3p for some IV fluids and my neulasta shot.

I am glad that my doctor agreed to give me some additional fluids today which I hope will help prevent any dizziness/dehydration issues this time around.  I drank a TON of water and G2 Gatorade yesterday and plan to do the same today.  It's amazing how dehydration can affect the body.

I had a little bit of nausea today, but it is nothing like the nausea that I had with the AC chemo.  Nothing.  My current nausea is present but totally manageable with my anti-nausea meds.  The AC-induced nausea was present no matter how many anti-nausea meds I took.  It is funny how the paradigm shifts when going through cancer treatments - I never thought that I would say that I am happy have less nausea vs. none at all.

Another potential side-effect of my current regimen is peripheral neuropathy and nail issues. Thankfully, I have not experienced any neuropathy issues yet, but I did notice that some of my fingernails were a bit sore after the last treatment, especially when typing.  I cut my nails very short, and that seemed to do the trick.  My doctor grilled me about that though making sure that I was not actually having neuropathy, but I don't think that I am.  If that happens, there may be a reduction in my chemo dose, but no reason to be alarmed yet.  I am going to start taking some B12 today which can help prevent neuropathy..doing everything I can to ward off any major problems.

I am seeing my new therapist tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to it.  I told my oncologist about my upcoming appointment, and his eyes lit up.  He is thrilled that I am seeing someone already and spent a few minutes discussing the post-chemo/cancer treatment letdown that people often experience.  Others have talked to me about this too, which is why I decided to seek out some counseling to begin with.  When one is going through cancer treatments, she is actively fighting her disease, but after treatment is over (and my treatment does have an endpoint, thank God), there are often feelings of depression and fear.  You are turned out on your own into the great big post-cancer world, and that world can be really scary. I'll have regular follow up appointments with all of my medical team, but life will be very different.  I want to be able to enjoy the post-treatment life and not be fearful so that is why I am seeking some therapy/counseling NOW.

As I've said, I am working really hard to get my body right, and now it is time to put in some work to get my mind right.  I am hopeful that the therapist can help me with come coping mechanisms for when dark thoughts and fear creep into my mind now, and I know that she will be instrumental in my post-treatment life.  I hope that she and I gel. I enjoyed a brief phone conversation with her, and she had already called the nurse navigator at the hospital before even returning my phone call to get some background on me so those are both good signs.  I'll have more of an update on my first session tomorrow, but I am really excited to start this important phase of my treatment.  I dare say that this treatment will be just as important as the physical treatments I am doing.

Today was the perfect lazy day, and I am very glad that I took the time for myself.  Rest is important, and I find myself needing more and more of it as my chemo treatments progress which is to be expected due to the buildup of chemo in my body.  The chemo is working, and I remain eternally grateful for that.