The TNBC Foundation has a page on their website on which they feature "spotlight stories." These stories put a name and a face to TNBC, and many of them are very uplifting and encouraging while some of them are quite the opposite. I was reading Amber's story on this page yesterday and clicked on the blog link that she included with her story. Her last blog post was written by someone else informing readers of her death. I flinched.
I am deeply sorry for Amber's family and sorry for what Amber had to endure. I am also sorry that the TNBC Foundation website is not more updated. I don't think that Amber's story should be removed from their website, but I do think that they should set up a memorial page or otherwise acknowledge what happened to her (and others) before the reader stumbles upon the information herself. I emailed them suggesting such.
I've said this before, and I fully recognize it, but my mental/emotional well-being is directly tied to my physical well-being. I am still not feeling very well (though much better), and I am not at 100% emotionally either. PLEASE forgive how selfish this sounds (please), but reading some of those stories did a lot more harm than good. I was not seeking out sad stories..quite the opposite, in fact.
All of that said, there were many many 5-year + survivors featured on the spotlight page, and I went back to read those stories over and over again. Then I read them one more time for good measure. There are far more positive stories than negative out there, but fear is a very powerful force and one that I try to conquer on a daily basis.
There was one woman who also included a link to her blog, and her last post was from last month where she announced the birth of her child whom she was successfully breastfeeding. That is an incredible story, and I am sure that she had some moments when she really questioned whether or not having a child was possible. I loved reading her story.
Enough emotional stuff from me. Henry and I had a fun day together, all things considered. We went to the store and picked out a cake for his birthday party next weekend, and I got some ingredients to make a small cake at home for Monday. Henry picked out a Transformers cake at the store, and he can't wait to get it next weekend.
Late afternoon, I took him to a playground for a little while. I sat in the shade and watched him play, and we saw some kids playing with water balloons. That inspired us to make a stop for water balloons on the way home, and we had a good old fashioned water balloon fight in the front yard (cast covered of course). It was really fun, and he laughed the whole time. I got him good a few times too, and peals of laughter followed. It was adorable, and we've got another water balloon fight on the scheduled for tomorrow.
Today was a mix of emotions, and I am sorry to seem so down in the earlier part of my post. I endeavor to keep things honest on this blog so that people can try to understand where I am on any given day. I was all over the map today (clearly) but am mainly grateful for the quality time that I got to spend with my little boy.
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