I took the afternoon off for some appointments and some fun. I had lunch with a friend from high school, and it was so nice to catch up. I had been craving Chipotle for weeks, and she is a fan too so it worked out. I usually get a salad from there because the insides are really the best part of burritos.
After lunch, I saw my surgeon for a pre-opp appointment. The appointment went well though he was running way behind. I am so used to waiting for doctors, though, that it does not really bother me. He did an ultrasound on both breasts and said that if he did not know that I had a tumor in my left one that he would have passed it over with the ultrasound. He said the same thing during an exam before the ultrasound. So that means that whatever is left is super small and barely noticeable by touch and by ultrasound. GOOD. He said that the small lump that we can both feel is likely scar tissue that could or could not have some cancer left in it. I'll take "could not" please. My surgeon is a straight shooter, to say the least, and I was very entertained by the following exchange that he and I had:
Me: I'd really like to have a complete response from chemo.
Him: Why?
Me: Well the recurrence rates are pretty different for those who do get a complete response vs. those who do not.
Him: What are they?
Me: Something like 6% with a complete response and 20% without it.
Him: Then what's the percentage of NO recurrence without a complete response.
Me: 80%
Him: Right (with a knowing smile)
Thank you for bring me back down to earth. During my surgery, I will have a lumpectomy and a sentinel node biopsy. The lumpectomy will take out any remaining tumor or scar tissue as well as the tissue surrounding the area so that we achieve what are called clean margins. Clean margins = enough tissue was removed so that there is no cancer left.
The sentinel node is the lymph node (or nodes) that drain the area near the tumor. I will be injected with some radioactive dye before surgery that will help the surgeon detect the sentinel node. The sentinel node will be removed and checked for cancer. If cancer is present then additional lymph nodes may need to be removed, but that will be a game time decision that I will not be a part of because I will be in dreamland. The doctor did say that some people have more than one sentinel node as a result of individual anatomy so he may end up taking out between 2-3 sentinel nodes. In years past, surgeons would take out all underarm lymph nodes during breast cancer surgery, but a sentinel node biopsy reduces the need to do that. Removal of all lymph nodes could cause something called lymphadema, swelling and discomfort due to lymphatic system blockage, which is unpleasant and problematic. All that said, bring on the sentinel node biopsy.
After my surgeon appointment, I was to see my therapist, but that did not happen. My appointment with her was at 3pm, and I had still not been seen by my surgeon at 2:50 so I called and told her that I would not be coming. Her office manager's hours are spotty at best so I had to leave a voicemail for my therapist directly, and I hope that she got it. I feel horrible doing that. It is so unlike me to basically no show for an appointment, but there was really nothing that I could do. Seeing my surgeon to talk about surgery to remove cancer trumps a therapist appointment, and I am sure that she understands. It was silly of me to think that I could have those two appointments so close to each other.
On my way home, I stopped for one last appointment - a long-awaited pedicure! I didn't get pedicures during chemo because I was afraid of germs/infection, but I've never had a problem with low blood counts so I just went for it. I went to a nice place and used a gift card that a friend gave to me a few months ago, and it was incredible. I almost fell asleep, and my toes look lovely. Win/win.
To top off the day, our sweet neighbors brought us dinner. It was delicious and a very nice treat. There is just something so wonderful about not having to cook even though I really enjoy cooking.
I am starting to feel a little bit guilty about taking so much time off of work, but that is ridiculous. I am taking time off work for cancer treatment, not extended vacations or general slacking. I have the time to take, and need the time right now in my life so it is a must. And, in the grand scheme of things, I really have not taken that much time off given the circumstances. I just feel like the hours here and there are starting to add up. Oh well..that is why we have sick and vacation time.
I'm awfully wordy today.
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